COMMUNICATIONS

This has always been a subject that is near and dear to me, “communications”.  I’ve spent my lifetime either writing, or talking about it - Or attempting to put it into practice.  It’s not a word that gets far away from any of us, but sometimes I wonder how this word ends up prefaced with mis- 

From the time my kids were in school, when my job on our PTO Board was “Communications” - to now, with my discussions on Barnes & Nobles, where writing clarity is so incredibly important, you have no other way to get or receive these thoughts between participants except by reading them.  It is inevitable that someone will misread you, or you them.  Authors have editors to make words clearer to their readers, we only have ourselves.

With communicants, and that includes all of us, we still find issues, whether written or said, that catch us off guard, moving all of us into heated emotions, until there seemingly is no point of return… All personalities differ, understand that from the beginning; and if we do not, then we will find ourselves lost in the muck and mire that ensues and insinuates, to the point where barriers are erected between parties.  This is not what we want to see happen, here. 

But I do see this happening, time and again, to where parties involved only want to out shout, and have their own voices made clear over others. There becomes a point where you have to shelve the emotions, and stop and listen, and work at looking at the words that sit between you. 

When sides are drawn, everyone ends up caught on one side or the other, either intentionally, or unintentionally.  It becomes divisive and hurtful; not only to the people involved, but these issues find themselves transferred onto innocent people. Everyone gets thrown off guard, until you have no point of reference to return to in finding the real issues you have strayed from - unless you sit down and listen to one another.

My point to this is, listen to the other person.  Meetings are a number-one way to do this. Listening to second hand information, hearsay, is not the way to clarify and resolve any type of misunderstanding, it only makes it worse.  Most of the time we only hear our own voices in a debate, a debate is not what you want to have happen. You want understanding.

Follow the rule of putting yourself in others’ shoes, and asking yourself where is the conversation leading, and how does it apply to my perspectives or views? What questions can I ask of the other party that will clarify this conversation for me?  These are simple thoughts to consider, but most often overlooked when emotions run high. Do not enter into communication with a preordained agenda - to attack.  Be open to views that are perhaps different from yours.  Different doesn’t make that person, or their views, wrong, what it does mean is, that communication has to be open and honest to hear another voice besides your own. The major thing we all want to hear is how we can make living here a better place, a harmonious place for everyone.